Wednesday, 22 April 2015


Running away is a simple and effective method for dealing with almost any situation. I am brilliant at it, I feel like its inherent. It's in my bones. See also; quitter. In the last year I have quit my job and all responsibilities and commitments I have ever had. I've run away from so many different situations I don't actually think I could name them all. Even as I write this I should be writing a lesson plan that I've given up on roughly 6 million times already. Quitting has the most negative connotations, nobody wants to be seen as a quitter. Even in my mind in generally relates mostly to failure. You quit and therefore you fail, you forfeit your position. You're not strong enough to finish, you've taken the easy route out. I personally think that's so far from the truth.
It's not the truth because it isn't the easy route out. Giving up on something that you've put time and effort into isn't failing, its recognising that this isn't providing you with what you need. There is nothing easy about telling people, friends and family and loved ones that you've quit. That once again you're starting over. Because everyone believes that you're failing, again. Who supports the absolute nutter who quits there job, forfeits there income, just because they don't enjoy it? I'll tell you who, nobody. Next to no-one will tell you that's a good idea. But why not? Why should we keep ourselves in these situations, when no-one is really benefitting. It takes a lot of guts to walk away from something. To take a step into the unknown. To tell yourself, this is no longer serving me and its time to move on. I don't see that as weak. Having high standards and not settling because that's what is expected of you. I will not settle. I will not sacrifice my time to things that, ultimately don't get me closer to the life that I want. The fact that I am still completely unsure about what that is yet is irrelevant.
I won't just run away from negative situations, a lot of the time positive experiences also have a sell-by date. I have numerous memories from travelling that, had I pursued or not 'given up' on, would not be the memory that I have of them today. The memories encapsulated in perfect moments, that I wished with every fibre of my being I could prolong at the time. Yet even then, even in heights of happiness there was a knowing in the pit of my stomach that this wasn't it. This wasn't going to be the thing that caught me. Had I actually prolonged them they're likely to not be the same memory, leaving when I felt I had to as apposed to leaving when everything was perfect. It is very easy to become incorrectly attached to things. We're all looking for something and it is so easy to think you've found it and immediately put all your eggs in the basket, I'm done, I've found it, thanks and goodbye. I've done it with so many things, the island I went to live on for one. We all do it, with friends or relationships or careers or lifestyle choices. But we are constantly growing and the things we look for evolve, often at different rates to the people and life around us. This is not a bad thing. Being able to call something a day, to me, is a sign of strength. Strong enough that you know what you want, or even strong enough to admit to the world that what you want has changed. And sometimes starting over, with a revised purpose is exactly what you need. Of course there are things I wish I had stuck with, but if I had I wouldn't be where I am, perhaps without the people I have now, or with a different set of morals. I like who I am, I like who I have and I love what could eventually be. I am a runaway and I will not settle. 


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